preloder

 Today it rains and I feel familiar feelings.

Feelings of happiness, of peace and of stillness. Of knowing, of really knowing. Knowing what I am and who I am.

I look outside and can see a puddle, the water and circles that ripple instantaneously.

How does that water get there? How does it rain?

My mind keeps taking me back to when I was little. The peacefulness of the farm we lived, the views of the valley.

I am not sure why it keeps bringing me back here but it does. I am trying not to overanalyze and just to embrace the memories and emotions as they come.

I hear the familiar sounds of a train across the valley and immediately my mind has taken me back to when I was about 9 or 10.

Walking in the rain over the bridge across the train tracks. It takes me to think of the pony’s we had growing up and the emotions I felt towards them, my first dog.

I am quickly back to here and now.

It is almost as though I have never experienced any of the pain and anger in my life in the middle of what was then and what is now. I know consciously that that is not true, that there has been long years of suffering on this journey.

I think of myself and how I perceive my life and the things that are in it, the actions I take. I believe that we are all here living our lives, but are we really living the way we want or are we blaming others for the things that happen in our lives, blaming others for the way we feel.

Others do not make us feel the way we feel, we choose to feel the way we feel by the perception that we have of others and their actions. No one else makes us feel angry, or sad or hurt. It is us that allows them feelings to surface and take over.

If you have no control over your life and the things that happen then if something goes wrong and you want to change it how are you going to do that? If you have no control over your dreams and desires and the action you take every day then how are you going to be able to change it?

Why do so many of us live our lives blaming others for the way we feel, the things that happen when we quite simply can just decide right now that we are going to take control of our lives and create whatever we desire.

You create your destiny, let’s begin.

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